درنگلیش و پشتنگلیش Daranglish and Pashtanglish

Similarities of European University Teachers and the Taliban

The Afghan refugee invites his friend who is a University Teacher in the weekend in his small tiny room where there is a table and 4 chairs a set of couch purchased from the second hand shops. The University teacher arrives with a very beautiful lady. The Afghan refugee has prepared a very nice Afghan food called “Qurma Palaw” made of Basmati rice and lamb. He spent too much considering his 100 Euro budget for a month. It seems as if he has spent all his money on the small party to somehow pay back for the previous party of the University teacher. The University teacher brought a bottle of Jack Daniel's Black Label Tennessee Whiskey as a contribution to the party.

 University teacher: You’ve spent too much and prepared a nice table. It smells good! Look at these nice fruit designs on the table. Did you do that all yourself?

Afghan refugee: Yes, I live all alone and I have to learn how to cook and wash the dishes. And as far as the University teacher comes here, I have to prepare much more delicious and beautiful table than usual, it is part of our culture.

University teacher: Pure Afghan hospitality! (They all laugh) By the way let me introduce my student and my personal assistant “Ms. Lina”. She is from Syria.

Afghan refugee: Is she one of those intelligent students that we talked about the other day?

University teacher: Yes, she is my baby girl. She amuses me when we get some free time (They all tossed a drink for cheers for a long lasting friendship).

An hour later …

Afghan refugee: How come you get beautiful girls from different countries here in your University?

University teacher: Well, we give them scholarships. We pay money and we bring in only those we choose.

Afghan refugee: What is a scholarship?

University teacher: It is a program that we pick up only those that we choose to bring them in.

Afghan refugee: What is the main goal of such kind of programs? Is it really helpful?

University teacher: The main goal which is written on the paper is to help poor countries. But in reality, we fuck them and destroy their lives. We do our own research on them. We steal their ideas and their assignents and papers and we write their ideas as an article for the journals and we publish them and sell them. In reality, it is a program for us to preach our own values.

Afghan refugees: What are your values?

University teacher : The values are also supposed to be good on the papers but in practice what remains out of our values are only three things “Sex”, “Alcohol” and “Jesus” (They all laugh together). Few days back we took some Muslim ladies who are our new studnets to a park as a city tour. We took them to the only park where there stands a statue of the Jesus and afterwards inside the famous biggest Church in the city. We also took them to an art gallery of biblical portrayes and paintings of the 16th century. Some Muslim ladies from Africa were so much afraid. Their bodies were shivering and they were crying on the way back home. They thought we are converting them.

Afghan refugee: hahaha You are not different than Taliban in Afghanistan. Your values are even the same and what you are doing is the same. Their values are also three things “Naswaar” (Snuff), “Bacha Baazi” (Homosexuality) and “Allah”. You also destroy lives the same way they do.